I want to be a performing artist …

There, I said it!

For many reasons – some personal, many cultural – it’s a hard thing to admit.  I’m in my 40s, I’m the daughter of Greek migrants and my mother wanted me to be an accountant, I have a marriage, a mortgage and a child, I’ve had career success in “real” jobs …. so what the hell am I thinking?  And why the hell would I admit it?  Publicly!

Well, the admission is a first step to taking myself seriously, creating some accountability, and acknowledging that it’s OK.  It’s OK to want that (I had to say it twice because I still have to convince myself).

Recommended reading

No matter what your age or your life path, whether making art is your career or your hobby or your dream, it is not too late or too egotistical or too selfish or too silly to work on your creativity.

Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way

I have Steve Jobs and Julia Cameron to thank for the journey I’m now on.  On the day Steve Jobs died, I was searching online to purchase Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way.  Someone had recommended it to me.  I have to make another admission … here goes … I didn’t actually know at the time who Steve Jobs was (I know, right!) but this quote appeared in a sidebar:

Your time is limited so don’t waste it living someone else’s life… Don’t let the noise of other people’s opinions drown your inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Steve Jobs

It could have easily slipped my eye, but I saw it, and my heart exploded.  So I checked out who this Steve Jobs was, and found out that he had just died.  And I went straight to the University of Wollongong website and applied for the Bachelor of Creative Arts – Theatre, even though the deadline for applications had passed.

Obviously, I had done a lot of thinking about this for a very long time beforehand, but I had always convinced myself it was impossible.

Because I was scared.

And because my dearly departed mother’s voice still had a lot of influence on my thinking.

Here I am, four years later, still studying, managing to keep up with the young ‘uns, and starting an internship  in June 2015 at PACT Centre for Emerging Artists.

Did I ever think that could remotely have been possible four years ago … 10 years ago … 20?  I think you know the answer!